If you’re not growing your skills, you’re growing your ego

You have experienced this in many places, especially in offices.

Your manager or boss talks about big ideas and uses words that are full of hot air. And in every meeting, he (or she) speaks the same thing. Again and again.

Or sometimes, he suddenly gets angry, or is always reserved, or acts as if he is hiding something.

If you observe closely, behind this brimming ego, what you’ll see is a lack of knowledge or skills.

But, he fears admitting that he doesn’t know something.

To admit that you don’t know something is a big relief. It makes you humane and creates empathy among your co-workers, friends, and family.

But it’s not true that only certain people do this all the time. You and I have done this at least a few times in our lifetime.

I remember something I did when I was in high school.

One day, I was walking from the classroom towards our dormitory. One of my classmates was passing by, and she stopped me. She wanted to ask me the meaning of a Kannada term from the subject she was studying. I told her the meaning without a second thought.

During that time, my classmates thought I was very good at the Kannada language. And to some extent, I was good too. I used to read a lot and practiced creative writing most of the time.

That was exam time, and I still remember her reaction when I answered her question. (Oh God, he knows everything.)

But I was not sure. I went back and checked the dictionary. I was wrong. (No, I didn’t go back and admit it with her.)

But I felt ashamed at what I did.

I had to change how I dealt with such things. You can’t keep the reputation by doing such dumb things, you see.

And not exactly from that day, but over the years, I developed my mindset to admit when I didn’t know something.

But admitting that you don’t know something doesn’t solve the problem.

By accepting you don’t know something, you may appear truthful for the time being. But such repeated admissions create a bad impression about you in the long run. Also, you’re not helping either yourself or the person asking the question.

So, whenever such situations arise, I use a different approach. I answer the question by saying: “I think <THIS> is the answer. But, let’s Google it to make sure”.

This stops me from growing my ego, or even meekly accepting my lack of knowledge.

And when you’re working in a particular field, you cannot escape by saying you don’t know. You will have to try to understand it and be able to answer as quickly as possible. The best is to do it immediately.

If you neglect that, your colleagues or subordinates won’t respect you.

But an even more dangerous situation is when you maintain you know everything. With that, you begin to create an inner fear. And subconsciously you try to cover it up by keeping yourself reserved. It makes you angry often or you begin to talk bigger nonsense.

So, if you don’t work to learn your trade well, you tend to grow an unnecessary ego.

Again, learning is not about reading something and thinking you know everything.

For example, imagine that your team is implementing a new SaaS product. Reading the product instructions or watching a YouTube demo is not going to be enough.

You’ll have to have hands-on experience with the product. Because that’s how you’ll know the actual challenges your team is going to face. Otherwise, you’ll be clueless when your team talks about it in meetings.

If you do that extra work, you’ll be able to answer them well, and you’ll be a good leader.

Remember, if you don’t grow your skills continuously, you tend to grow your ego.

What do you think?

Is the L-board mindset is hurting your career?

Image by Foundry Co from Pixabay

The day I bought my brand new car, I was too worried.

For a few days, it was nightmarish even to think about parking it inside the compound. Through that narrow lane.

‘Should I use an L-board’, I asked a friend.

`No’, she said.

I was in a dilemma.

Because I had rammed the car into a compound wall only on the third day of buying it. While parking.

And what might happen when I drive it through the heavy traffic of a city road?

But, the idea of admitting myself as an L-board, I didn’t like it. Even though it was my first car, and I was learning to ride.

As an L-board, you have many benefits.

  • People on the road, won’t show anger on you when your car’s mirror collides with theirs. 
  • They always try to keep a safe distance.
  • Even police will understand if you’re involved in an accident.

Everything is good. But, what about your self-image? How do you feel yourself when you are declaring that you are an L-board, a novice?

Every time you sit inside your car, you’ll feel that you’re not good enough.

`Do you want that?’, she asked me. 

What are you feeding into your own mind?

This is not just about driving your car. Listen to people around, most of them doubt their own capabilities. 

“Novelist, me? No way”

“Starting a business? Not in my blood”

“That person, unlike me, is genius.” 

Now, look at the high achievers around you. When they started something, they too felt like an L-board.

But they decided to throw the board away as quickly as possible, while most of us clung to it.

Because they believed in the projected image of themselves as masters. This is the leap that they took towards the unmanifest – the possibility of being a master.

So, if you want to be a master in any field, the first step starts with the belief that you are capable of. This belief has to grow into your whole being. Then it starts working for you. It changes your body language and behaviour.

So, whenever you start a new endeavour, the first step starts with your mind. You have to create an image of success and feel it. Feel it as deeply as possible, until you know what it feels to be successful. And begin your endeavour with that feeling. Hold on to that feeling even when you are failing. 

This is how you get out of the trap of being an L-board, an average.

Here, all you need is a little courage. The courage to throw that L-board.

So, never think that you will start something after you are ready. You are never ready unless you believe it. So, feel it first, create a belief and then begin to act.

Apple, the world’s biggest tech company was started in a garage. With the help of a bunch of boys from the neighbourhood. But Steve Jobs, one of its founders and an iconic leader, always talked like they were into something huge. 

This very mindset pushed them into creating iconic products that transformed the world. 

Remember, L-board is always a dent in your confidence. 

So never say, I am an aspiring actor, aspiring writer or aspiring businessman. 

You are an actor, that’s why you act. Cut that `Aspiring’ out! Because, even after you did your best work, you remain an actor.

And when you believe in that, opportunities begin to come in search of you.